Five steps to improve your child’s sleep schedule
Has the Covid-19 pandemic thrown off your child’s sleep schedule?
Let’s face it, the Covid-19 pandemic has altered some, if not most, aspects of our routine. Many families rely on daily routines for day-to-day functioning, while others may not know where to start. Children rely on routines as a form of predictability in their environment - just as we do as adults. While adults may still manage to work through change, children rely on predictability and routine as a way to structure the world and reduce anxiety. Their brains do not have the full capacity to cope independently or make meaning of change. As adults, you may grab another cup of coffee or {insert ways to manage chaos here}. For children, managing change typically comes out in the form of challenging behavior. In addition, shifts in sleep routines are common. Between increased screen time, reduced engagement in activities, or spending endless hours cooped up at home, your child’s sleep schedule has likely shifted. Below are a few tips and tricks to get your child or family’s sleep schedule back on track!
Start small, get in the know. Start with identifying your child’s current sleep patterns, even if it seems like it changes nightly.
Start with the time your child is falling asleep (the glorious and relaxing parenting “ahh” moment). From here, we can begin to work backwards for more details.
Note any observations about the environment and timing. Who was present? How long did it take them to fall asleep? It’s often hard to be present during bedtime, because you are likely running on empty and trying anything to get your child, and you, to sleep.
After you determine the timing and environment, identify any current bedtime routines that occurred prior to sleep. What did they do in the hours/minutes leading up to bedtime? Bath, brush teeth, read book? And yes, check in on whether they are spending time on those rectangular electronic devices too! Before you can expect any change in routines or habits, the goal is to identify what current routines their bodies have become used to throughout the pandemic. Even if it is lack of routine, that in itself is informative. You may find that current routines only need to be altered slightly.
On average, identify the total amount of time that occurred from when you started the bedtime process and when your child fell asleep (e.g., 2-3 hours from end of dinner time to sleep time)
Goal time! Now that you know the routines, identify an ideal bedtime and (expected) wake time. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recommends approximately 11-14 hours of sleep for toddlers and anywhere from 9-13 hours of sleep for pre-school and school-aged children (ages 3-12 years). The goal is to focus on one aspect of routine at a time, as too much change may result in significant behavior difficulties. Therefore, keep daytime routines stable and predictable with appropriate exercise and arousal activities.
Identify and create a new bedtime routine together. While young, it is important to recruit the support (and buy-in) from your child. Children LOVE control in an adult led world and allowing them to feel like they have a say in creating new change (remember, predictability) is important. This does not mean it is a free-for-all. You provide the structure and then incorporate some opportunity for choice to avoid the power struggle with options at nighttime.
Start with a plan and offer your child 2-3 options to contribute to aspects of their new nighttime routine. If the ideal goal is, 6:00pm-dinner, 7:00-bath, 7:30-quiet time, 8:15-bedtime- think about what they can have flexibility with. For example, allow them to pick an activity for quiet time that doesn’t involve a screen and begins to set the stage for relaxing in bed. Do they want to…
Read a book or listen to quiet music
Do a stretch with {mom, dad, caregiver, sibling} or give a nighttime hug
Pick out clothes for the following day or pick a stuffed animal to sleep with
Use visual schedules to help your child visualize the new routine. Write or draw symbols with them on a piece of paper to show new nighttime activities and leave it in their room or a common area for reference. A child’s brain has difficulty attending to and retaining information without additional aids or repetition. Remember that goal time? Add times to the visual schedule next to the activity. Start by adjusting their current schedule to 15 minutes earlier (e.g., previously brushed teeth at 8:00pm , change to 7:45pm) and slowly transition 15 more minutes each week until you are at your goal time. Gradual shifts help their bodies and brains adjust with less behavioral outbursts, dysregulation, or anxiety.
Set boundaries…and stick to them! You and your family have a set plan, visual schedule, and fun nighttime routine….now what? It is likely your child will exhibit some behavioral difficulties when navigating a new schedule but that doesn’t mean you have failed. Consistency is key. By providing options for some activities (like pre-bed quiet time activity) and a firm boundary on non-negotiable activities (like time to brush teeth or get into bed) you control the timing and they feel like they can control aspects of their routine to make it predictable. Win-win!
Clearly identify and set the stage for transitions (e.g., in two minutes it is time to brush your teeth).
Set a visual timer. Most smart phones have a standard timer on their phone or you can download a visual timer for free in the App store. Allowing your child to start and stop the timer gives them that sense of control while transitioning and can reduce anxiety.
Follow through is important. If you notice your child is struggling, use of “and” language is a good way to hold a boundary while acknowledging your child’s feelings about transitioning. For example, you can say “You are sad that it is time for bed because playing is fun, and it’s time to rest your body. I will help you clean up. Would you like to play with trucks again before bed tomorrow?” Shifting to an option or choice for your child offers them that sense of control and comfort. Hint—it also serves as a helpful distraction!
Try again tomorrow. If the first night didn’t go as planned, try again tomorrow and make it the new ‘normal.” You will gradually ease them into the routine each night. Over time, you will find that this once unpredictable routine is now a part of their nightly normal.
If you have concerns about your child’s sleep/behavior change or questions about what establishing routines may look like for you, reach out to your child’s providers or Behind the Behavior Psychology today!